9. It is the knowledge that makes us uncompromising


Difficult is the journey we have chosen and the road is even longer ... greater is the solitude when you realize the different language spoken by most people. Nonexistent are the joys when you have abolished the "here" but nor are you elsewhere. This "in between", I think, is even worse than ignorance. Maybe our demands grow and nothing is enough any more. Maybe our deficiencies seem more serious.

How could I not understand M.'s anguish? How could I not be hurt by the search taught to her by many? But what hurts me most is that she also believes that she will find happiness in the "marriage-children" pattern ... It's because people are not honest: they talk about all these things as if they are the most important events, even when deep inside they have revised their opinion ... And even then, they are afraid to see their inner void; they are afraid to see the deficiency in their life, and quite naturally pass on the same longing to their children.

Perhaps people wish to see other people dissatisfied ... It's true that they are very confused and perhaps they think that the formula might be wrong for them only... perhaps they never thought that the formula itself might be wrong ... In their lives they have learned to do the same as others do and neurosis has become their homeland ...

Please, God, keep our children away from wrong patterns. Whatever they do let them do it with love, so pain may be sweet. Mistakes out of love become paths for someone to find God, while the others drain you and you never bloom ... or, at least, you bloom at a much slower pace. With love