11. Life brings us close to whatever
we think we reject

   

How many repetitions do people need in order to find the homestretch?

The more I sort it out with myself the more I mess it up with others ... truly, what a strange mix-up and test of endurance ... I still get bitter, I still get into a bad mood. Every time I fool myself, because this is what I wish, and every time I get disappointed like a child. I do not know to what extent I should blame myself or was the lesson only for the other person ... this will be certain when I truly become simply an observer ... Then repetition will not be needed for me, because I still "take the bait" ...

Sometimes the fact that I feel and perceive things around me so differently, becomes tragic ...  Perhaps it's because I'm frightened by the unbearable loneliness of my existence ...  Then to tell you the truth, I'd like to be able to feel full with whatever others consider important. Funny, how the difference in the way of thinking and perceiving things, brings so much loneliness ...  Luckily though, this doesn't last long and I can again find the uniqueness that exists in everything that surrounds me anyway.

At other times, on the other hand, while we know the truth with certainty, we become deeply disappointed when even the closest people are revealed ...  So, here comes the moment of revelation and not of a shift, as we often thought. Once again, as always, the problem is clearly ours. A thin layer of darkness concerning certain facets we maintained disappears, time for other things!!