19. The phase where we don't miss a beat
 

I see "time" running faster ... opening short roads to knowledge. What do you think? They don't leave us without work ... it seems that the "road" has been accelerated ... so that we finish with the "small", which of course are big! Big, for those who know how to observe. And now we are in this phase where we don't miss a beat.

I move absent-mindedly as if whatever moves me fully controls me. Everything I do is a repetition without an apparent reason and everything I think is scattered images of some other person who, finally, is me.

So much have I mixed up the moments and times which have marked me, that an effort is needed to make sense of it. What were ultimately the most beautiful and what the most bitter?

I have the sureness of the same coin because they both had a strong taste. I tell you with certainty, though, that sorrows send you violently ahead, whereas "pleasures" leave you stagnant. But still, this is what we all seek, because ultimately we know the difficulty of the road of knowledge. Fortunately, of course, in the end we don't determine it ourselves not consciously anyway. It is very easy to lose oneself in the "pleasures" of the body and matter. I know very well how much power and control the moments of pleasure carry!