26. The heart is my strength and weakness


I have strongly felt the sense of justice ever since I was a child. It is as if I brought it with me already developed. I carried on my struggle with emotions, in all its nuances. This struggle knocked me down. But, something came out of it for sure. However, I am still incredibly vulnerable to everything that has to do with the Heart. For me everything begins and ends there. The heart is my strength and weakness. Everything is filtered there and comes out pure, without anything shadowing them.

My colour reached a soft hue ... the "strong feelings" have gone and now I'm trying to find my own hue. This is of some importance if one thinks the "spending" of at least half a life in something that can't be seen nor does it interest most people.

In fact, of course, I'm not entitled to any "conquest" ... I have run a huge earthly cycle to reach the beginning once again ... i.e. childhood when I saw and felt with my heart. What I have experienced was a divergence of reasoning. States of mind which learned to think, react and judge according to lessons and remembrance. What is the result? The cycle returns to the point where it started, except now it goes deeper into the whats and hows, something a child didn't know how to do.

That's what I have accomplished through all these years of joy and sorrow, life and death. And one more thing: I glimpsed the knowledge of truth. I got answers to mysterious questions; I tasted the serenity of the soul which remembers ... Is this a little or a lot? Ah! and most important of all. I met people whom I loved so much, and it was worthwhile my coming to earth just for that ... a coming which gave me everything and took a lot from me.