33. In the shadows I want to see my own


Absolute quietness ... peace of mind, vision, hearing ... The house has a spooky silence ... There's just me and my animals and some invisible shadows that will lead me to a better knowledge of the truth ... Absolute peace as the heart longs for and desperately seeks lonesome corners ... The heart wants to hear me, I want to hear myself, find my needs, find the easiness of my pace ... Within the silence I want to discover my way. In the shadows I want to see my own ...

I want to have the luxury to think about myself, to do things for me, to lose myself in my own "non-existence". I want to stop perceiving, stop observing, stop working for everyone else. Finally, I want me, and I admit that for the first time ... Perhaps because I hit rock bottom for the first time, so deep down that I can either reach the surface or "perish".

It's night; soon I will be gone with my dreams. This is also an escape from earthly things. This is also a small illusion of the mind, which has limits, and sometimes goes crazy ... Otherwise, what do we need sleep for, when a long lasting peace exists?