40. Gain comes even when
you don't understand it


Another day, dark inside and out. Fifty years on this earth and I still haven't tamed my emotional instability. As far back as I can remember, everything contributes to my disposition sometimes going up and at others going down. Even dreams predispose my day. It's also this weather being grey and drizzly ...

At such moments I feel cut off from everyone and everything. I become as dark as the weather and all my aims withdraw. As if faith decreases and the mood for escape increases. We all go through such situations and they are really unpleasant. I don't know the meaning and I don't see signs for the continuance of the way. Everything is confused in the mind for as long as the mood is shadowed by my pessimism. Fortunately, the moments of such deep depression are few, otherwise I think that I wouldn't differ from the past. It's these moments I don't have the courage to materialize what is in my mind.

I wait for another day with signs and dreams, to be.

I don't forget that the seeds are deeply planted in the earth during the winter ...

If the sun doesn't warm the soil, how can I expect them to show if they have rooted?